Speed is Relative

I recently had occasion to cease criticism of myself for a few minutes and give myself credit for the incredible amount of work I've done to get to this point. The occasion was this article about Jennifer Love Hewitt running the LA Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon in 3:09. Not only did Jennifer run with her boyfriend, she was paced by Deena Kastor (American record holder and Olympic medalist). And my first thought was: I beat Jennifer Love Hewitt AND Deena Kastor with my lightning fast time of 2:43! Some people might obsess on the fact that Deena Kastor was very pregnant. Just let me have my moment! I always agonize over my speed and find myself apologizing to people for being so slow. As if they care how fast or slow I am, as long as they can continue eating cans of Pringles in front of the television. On a related topic, do you ever feel guilty about binging while watching The Biggest Loser? I usually don't even eat while it's on because I can feel the guilt from Bob and Jillian being transmitted over the airwaves. I should probably do sit ups during commercial breaks or something.

OK back to the original topic: I beat myself up for being "slow" and I think, "If I can do it anyone can do it." I'm starting to realize that may not be true. Yes, I was finisher 2387 at the Women's Half but there were 997 women (and some men, but that's another story) behind me. And I'm pretty sure they were trying their best and not just letting me "win." A 12:30 or 12:00 minute mile pace may be slow for some people but considering I never thought I would be a runner, it's pretty fast for me. And I know there are some women out there now thinking they will never be able to run because it's just too hard. I used to be that woman. Ten years ago I even wrote, "walking is all I'm capable of." And I was ten years younger, with springier knees and joints that didn't crack upon rising from the dinner table. I've decided it's all mental. A lot of people live by the Henry Ford quote: 

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

Now Henry Ford may have had some other issues (Nazi ties anyone) but this quote pretty much sums it up. If I think I can never run, I never will. And I like to think some day I will run like a gazelle through the savanna. I picture myself being that elegant now but I think if I ever saw a video of my running form it would be a different story. But I still strive for that. I know I will get faster and I know that every "slow" step I take brings me closer to that point. I am a runner (no matter what Pearl Izumi says). And I am fast.

Half Marathon Recovery

You (the generic you, who might be interested in anything I have to say) will be happy to know I am still running. Sometimes I run faster than I ever thought possible. And then I die a little during my one minute walk break. But no matter, it's interval training at its finest and soon I will be super, extra speedy. In the two weeks following my half marathon I followed the recovery program from Marathoning for Mortals. They also have a walk/run program for the half so I'm following it for PF Chang's in January. The two weeks of recovery included walking at first and then shorter runs. I did progress to a 7 mile run last week and let's just say it was hovering above horrible. I like running in the cold but it feels like my legs are frozen chopsticks sometimes and they won't be lifted above shuffling. But the recovery period was super. Looking forward to doing it again.

Other Things Responsible for My Super Recovery:

Ice bath and massage day of the race

Continuing to exercise after the race and not allowing myself to take a six month time off

Volunteering for an Ironman.

Volunteering for the Ironman was perhaps key in my psychological recovery. I figure I cannot whine about 13.1 miles around people doing a marathon AFTER a 2.4 mile swim AND 112 mile bike ride. It was so inspiring to see all kinds of people (not just skinny little stick people) completing the distance. But I don't know if it made me want to do one or vow to never do one. Not in the near future anyway. An actual conversation with one of the participants:

Him: Do you know if soda settles your stomach?
Me: I've heard on good authority, from the only person I actually know who's completed an Ironman, that it helps.
Him: I feel like I need to throw up.
Me: Well, um, just throw up then. It's probably better, right?
Him: I've been trying to throw up for the last hour.
Me: (in my head) OK, good luck with that.

So you see, volunteering at an Ironman offers both highs and lows. Next year I'm going to volunteer early so I can actually see the Elites finish. I was an hour or so too late this time. Plus next year I'll try not to poke a snippy high school girl in the eye. Note to self: volunteer at an aid station with less teenage help. Because if you have to hear a 16 year old constantly yelling for volunteers to "back up" you tend to get a little jaded with the youth of today. Sorry for the tangent. Moral of story: volunteer at a race you think you would never do and it really puts your life in perspective. Especially when you see a woman with a prosthetic leg come by three times and know she will complete the race with one good leg while you moan and whinge about how much your arm hurts from pouring water into cups.

Things I Love...

just in case you want to  buy me a Christmas present.

I have a growing collection of exercise related stuff. I'm still searching for the perfect pack or belt to take on my runs but I am a huge believer in my Camelback hand held water bottle. I tend to drink more when wearing it and it gives me something to death grip when I feel like I might just die. But I have a new found favorite thing:

Bondi Bands! They are delightful  headbands that don't slip and wick the nasty sweat away from important areas (like eyes, because seeing while running is always helpful). I always wanted to try them out but could only find them online. Then I discovered their booth at the Women's Half Marathon expo and immediately bought 3. Of course I didn't realize at the time that I bought the "fashion" bands and not the "wicking" bands but that only forced me to order 5 more when I got home. I wore the fashion band under my hat for the half and it worked pretty well. I also wear it only an almost daily basis now (I washed it first!) And here's photographic evidence:

And you thought I was lying! HA! The wicking bands really stay put and today I used it to cover my ears because it was arctic outside (well, arctic for AZ anyway). They had a coupon code for 5 for $25 - just put FIVE in the coupon space. I ordered "Run Walk Crawl Finish," "Suck it Up Cupcake," "I love running I hate running" (and it glows in the dark!) a tiara design and was forced to  buy a glow in the dark for my daughter. I highly, highly recommend Bondi bands (and they don't even know I exist so I'm not getting anything in return for this except maybe high fives from any friends who try them and love them)!

Women's Half Marathon Race Report

I know it's been a good long while since I've posted. I've just been so busy running (and stuff). My first run/walk/run half marathon is now behind me. I walked PF Chang's half a couple years ago so this technically wasn't my first half, just my first half with any running beyond that at the finish line! I have learned so much since then and I know I'm in much better shape. So sit back and enjoy the mile by mile recap. OK, I would never do that to you. Just a general recap then. Based on what I can remember before race amnesia sets in.

Our goal going in was to run 2/1 intervals for the first 6 miles and then switch to 3/1. This did not work out so well but still living and learning here. We had an approximate time goal of "less than 3 hours." We had been doing our long runs about a 13 minute mile pace but gradually sped up to about a 12.50 pace. We certainly did not push ourselves during long runs. Our shorter runs were about 12. 30 to 12.45. So we didn't set an overly ambitious goal. I honestly did not know if we could maintain a 12.30 pace over 13 miles. We just set out to finish smiling.

Race morning we enlisted my (wonderful) husband to drop us off at the start so we didn't have to mess with the bus from the finish line nonsense. We even made a bathroom stop at McDonald's (smartest move of the whole day!) We started in corral 4 behind the 3 hour pace team. We probably should have moved up at this point but I don't think we were giving ourselves enough credit. The race started and we had to dodge walkers for awhile before settling in. Our first mile split was amazingly 12.30 despite the weaving. The field opened up and we settled in. The first 8 miles went pretty smoothly, in spite of some really nasty hills not mentioned on the "fast, downhill course" race website. I don't know if you have hills where you live. I do not. It is FLAT, like Kansas. So the hills were like someone hitching a ride on my back with their arms around my neck. I seriously began to wonder if I had exercise induced asthma because I was sucking wind. The hills took a little of the spirit out of our game plan, as did passing the finishers on the other side of the road while we were only on mile 8. Psychologically disheartening to say the least.

We started really slipping at mile 9 and the downhill slide continued to the finish. Before that point we had been running at an average pace of 12 minute miles. And I'm sure you can go faster but for me that's the pace I was doing before when I was running the whole time. So I was nothing but excited. From mile 10 on it was a long hard slog. 3 miles seems so short considering you've already gone 10; but those 3 miles were the longest of my life. It's sort of like watching "Man Versus Food." (Just go with it). I always get mad at Adam if he gives up with like 5 bites left because really, he's already eaten some 5 pounds of ribs or something. But now I totally understand. At some point your body starts to rebel and you cannot force it to take one more bite or run "swiftly." I knew I needed another Gu but I could not stomach the thought. Finally I added some non-Nuun flavored water to my bottle and just took the Gu already. That seemed to help a lot and while the last three miles were no frolic in the park, we made it. Eventually we settled on 1/1 intervals and reached the sweet, sweet finish line in 2.43.48. Now let me just tell you the pissy thing about our finish. Garmin said we did 13.34 in 2.43, which makes our average lower than 12.30. I know the weaving at the start added some distance but I heard from at least two competent runners that their Garmin said 13.21. So I'm going with my distance. So there Women's Half Marathon!

Overall it was a great experience. I felt so much better finishing this than I did walking PF Chang's. Nutrition and being in better shape really helped with that. I even had an ice bath upon my return home AND a massage. I know, I'm a lucky, lucky girl. My legs are a little sore. The stairs in our house are accursed and sitting down is not delightful. But I am so ready to get back out there and see if I can sustain a faster pace. I am so not going to quit running now. I finally feel like exercise is a part of my life and not just something I'm doing to lose weight or finish an event.

I know run/walk/run has some critics:

"Run/walking isn't really running"
"You could run the whole time if you really wanted to"
"You would go faster if you ran the whole time"

To this I say (in addition to some cursing and eye rolling and "oh yeah, when did you complete your last half marathon? Oh that's right, you haven't"):
Run/walk/run is almost solely responsible for my getting to the starting line and the finish line. I know I could run at least 5K at this point and after PF Chang's I'm going to start running shorter distance runs, but for right now I'm sticking with Jeff Galloway. I really like knowing I only need to focus on 2 or 3 minutes at a time. I like seeing my pace slowly get faster. I ran/walked 2 miles with an 11.22 pace the other day. I like not feeling like total crap after my long runs. I like not being injured (knock on wood). In short, I can see using the run/walk/run indefinitely for long runs. During the race we noticed we were pacing several ladies who ran the whole time. And it is sooooo much easier to get Gu down during a walk break!

Runner's High or Hormonal Mood Swing?

I don't care which, I'll take it.

I am still in the midst of half marathon training. Our weekly long runs are up to 6 miles at this point. I am impressed with myself but continually wonder where the other 7 are going to come from. A couple weeks ago we did a horrible, horrible 5 miles on the canal. I was hot and had several, what I and my friend Sara love to call, "situations." I had chafing and rubbing and heat stress and general bitchiness. I seriously thought about calling the whole thing off. I truly questioned my sanity when I saw a small tree with shade and thought about crawling under it while waiting for my running buddies to come back and retrieve me. But I made it (obviously). The next week we were doing 5 again and I was so dreading it. I had solved the chafing/rubbing issues (thank you Body Glide)! I ate a little something before and I had some lovely Tri Berry Nuun. Plus the temps were in the normal for human beings range and the sun was behind clouds. Perfect. I had decided before that I would not look at the Garmin and would just run as fast or slow as my body wanted. The run/walk/run was awesome and when we finished I felt like I could keep going. Keep going! After 5 miles, which incidentally was my longest run/walk/run EVER. Then we went to breakfast at Paradise Bakery and I wanted to hug everyone. And possibly kiss them. I was JUST SO HAPPY. Maybe it was the elusive runner's high. Maybe I was just hyperventilating. I don't know. The point is, I did not feel like I was going to die. And this made me feel like I can accomplish the goals I have set for myself. So much so that I was inspired to sign up for another half marathon in January. Perhaps I should not be near the computer during a runner's high. It's like that middle of the night shopping or gambling for people taking Ambien. I cannot be responsible for what I sign up for during a period of extreme giddiness and love of life resulting from pushing my body beyond its comfort zone.

Week 3 of Half Marathon Training

Yes, amazingly I am sticking with my training plan. I've only missed one run so far. Yeah. Our last two long runs were 4 miles each. It does seem strange to think I just accept this as something I'm going to do rather than falling on the floor and crying and refusing to go. And it's not even that bad. I really, really like my intervals and hats off to Jeff Galloway. At this point I don't care how fast I'm going or that I'm not running the whole way, I'm just proud that I'm getting out there and doing it. Admittedly it's harder on the day I'm partner-less. I really struggle to make myself get out there and I give myself way too many excuses. I probably could talk Aaron into going with me. I get by with a little help from my friends.

Eating (and pronouncing) Quinoa

I have recently discovered the joy of eating (and saying) quinoa (keen wah). I have a strange compulsion to say the name over and over, which only works if you actually eat it. Otherwise it's just weird(er). I have read many articles about the benefits and tastiness of quinoa. Apparently it's a complete protein. And that's good. I just like the fact that you can eat it savory or sweet. I have tried two variations of quinoa:

Quinoa with Black Beans and Corn

and

Apple Cinnamon Breakfast Quinoa

Both of these recipes came from SparkRecipes, which I also absolutely love. I have found so many good and healthy recipes there. Plus they provide the nutrition information per serving.

I used the black bean quinoa for vegetarian burritos and it was loverly. Quinoa has a slightly nutty flavor and reminds me a little of couscous. But it also has this little poppy crunch. So good. Try it and join the quinoa club. One of the benefits is being able to say "quinoa" in practically any conversation!

Thanks mmm-yoso!!! for the quinoa pic

Vacation Struggles

If you (meaning maybe one person) were wondering what happened to me in the month of July I am here to assure you I'm not going away. I always have these grand schemes for summer vacation. Small things, like redecorating the whole house or finally making a daily schedule that solves all of our problems and brings world peace. But does that ever happen? Instead it's a rush of trying to stay busy and then trying to recover from staying busy. And then the kids are back in school. I need another vacation. Throw in a road trip and a weekend trip to San Diego and summer is pretty much gone. We spent the last week of summer vacation driving to and from Oklahoma. And the worst thing about driving 18 hours (besides driving 18 hours) is the incessant eating. I am like a human vacuum. Of eating. I suppose I eat so much to keep myself from just closing my eyes for a second while driving 80 miles an hour on a busy interstate. I even brought along healthy snacks this time but half a bag of almonds, craisins and chocolate chips kinda adds up. Aaron and I did manage two workouts while on vacation. Not that it canceled out two (maybe three) trips to the ice cream store, one chili cheeseburger, conies, half a chimichanga and bowl of guacamole - and that was just day one. I jest. But not really. OK the food was spread out but in essence it's still the same. Oklahoma is all about eating for me. I think I did better than previous visits in balancing out the bad with the good but I'm still really struggling with the car eating. And that's why I should now fly everywhere I go!

Perspective

I have been beating myself up a lot (I know, what happened to the positive?) about not going down in weight. Despite exercising (some) and eating well (sometimes) I still am stuck. Oh I know I could actually stick to the eating 1700 calories a day and exercising at least 5 times a week for 45 minutes. But what fun would that be? So I've decided (once again, I think it's an annual thing) to ban the scale and just go on how I look and feel for a while. I can see changes in my body (and booty) that are not reflected in my overall weight. And I want to feel proud of these accomplishments without being bummed out by that stupid number. Plus I figure if I keep doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing then the weight will eventually go down to the magic number in my head!

Good Eats*

One thing I definitely do well is making food for my family on a regular basis. We normally sit down for dinner (at the table and without the television) even if we're only having soup or the occasional cereal meal. I alternate between home cooked meals and frozen but eating at home saves us so much money (and calories). Plus taking three children out to eat is a daunting task. This particular meal consisted of bruschetta-with fresh tomatoes and basil, salmon, and homemade creamed corn from Cooking Light. I know it seems a little random but I just go with what sounds good. And it works.

*Thanks Alton for the title.

Great Stuff

OK I will admit it's getting harder to think of titles for the "positive" posts but I'm surprisingly not having a hard time coming up with positive things. I think it just takes a perspective shift.

This week I realized I constantly tell myself I should be doing more and then I looked at my training log and realized I have been active almost 5 days a week for three weeks straight. Go me. I am beginning to understand I have to up the intensity and duration but I think I have a pretty great base.

Good Things

I have renewed my vow to take the dog for a walk every morning. I need it and I know for sure he needs it. We walk about a mile, which conveniently tires him out in the heat. I don't even count the walk as part of my exercise. I can remember a time when a mile walk was all I did. I feel pretty good about being able to do more and more.

Positivity Day 1

As I was riding my road bike this morning I realized how far I have come. Last year, (was it last year?) when I started riding my road bike it took me a good five minutes to extract myself from the bike. I mean like my legs would seize up and I would have to stand straddling my bike until I could move my leg enough to swing it over. This was very amusing, as you can imagine, unless your neighbor happened to walk by. Looking concerned.

Now I don't know if I've spent enough time on the bike or adjusted it somewhat or just become immune to the pain, but I don't have that experience. I can swing my leg over my bike and walk normally. Sometimes I have even attempted to run directly after! Can you imagine?! I rode this morning for 11 miles, which is the longest ride I've had in a while. And I did not fall down! Despite the fact I was worried I would have to reacquaint myself with being clipped in. Working on being able to drink, steer and pedal at the same time.

Accentuating the Positive (and Eliminating the Negative)

As the song goes, I am going to start accentuating the positive. Sorry if that song gets stuck in your head. Of course if you have no idea what I'm talking about then you're safe. But you could always look for it on YouTube. I realize a lot of my writing is complaining. That's what blogs are for. In good times, in bad times, my blog will be on my side for evermore. And after that obscure reference I also realize, I am doing the thing some label as insanity and/or addiction. That is, doing something over and over and hoping for a different result. I know I cannot eat, let's just say a lot, and hope to lose weight. I also cannot lose weight without exercise. It is what it is and that is all. But along this road I have become increasingly harsh to myself. I suppose it's punishment for being here in the first place. Even though I can't go back in time and change it because I'm not Marty McFly (and yes, there are a lot of out of the blue 80s references today). All I can do is keep doing what I know I need to do. There will be setbacks. And there will be victories. But I cannot keep on beating myself up. So for the next month (possibly beyond) I will only write positive things on this, my newly designed carefree blog. I will be giving myself props all month long. Join me if you will.

Back on Track (Again)

I managed to track my eating and work out five times last week. I'm slowly coming back. I read something somewhere that talked about how Americans love quick and simple and how this hampers our drive to lose weight and stay healthy because we want it NOW. I will admit to being someone who weighs every day and then is disappointed when the scale doesn't move (or moves the wrong way) after one day of "good" eating. I lecture my husband about not weighing all of the time and being disappointed but I can't seem to remember that myself! In other news, I took my daughter shopping for a bathing suit. Always a humbling experience. I so do not like looking at my butt in the three way mirror. But in an odd way it's motivating. I think about how it will be when my butt does not look like that. Someday. Focusing on being healthy and not on being skinny is definitely better psychologically. But just once I would like to look in the mirror and like what I see.

Losing It

I am totally re-posting a blog entry I did for my SparkPeople page. Because I like to multitask like that (and I am lazy). I know I've kvetched (the Yiddish grandmother in me is coming out) about all of this before. But it makes me feel better. One day there will be a blog entry about how I am on the track to success and taking no prisoners. But today is not that day.

This year has been tough. I shouldn't complain (but often do) because the adversity was a result of good fortune. I was able to take two classes each semester in pursuit of my Masters in Social Work, I had two kids in all day school and one in preschool, and my husband traveled more but at least he still has a job! I guess I didn't realize how swamped we were until school was over. Suddenly I look around and realize I can't remember the last 10 months of my life. I feel so disconnected from my kids school life this year and I'm starting to question my own decision to go back to school. Which evidently means I must eat to make it all go away or feel better or some other nonsense my brain talks me into. Fitness is almost nonexistent right now and pretty soon I'll be right back where I started.

I just can't figure out how I constantly take two steps forward and then like 50 back. I'm not very good at giving myself a break and considering the fact that I am probably healthier now than I ever have been. I just keep looking for this miracle schedule or cure that will all make it easier. And then I beat myself up for wasting so much time thinking about it and not doing it.

OK enough whining. I know I have to just get on with it. But it's so easy to say that day will be tomorrow (especially with the impending birthday party for my daughter at our house and the stress of getting ready for all that). I will admit-head hung in shame-that I had cake and gummy bears for breakfast. But that doesn't mean I can't go on with my day. I promise I really am much more entertaining and lighthearted than this!

Healthy Time Suck

As if I needed another reason to spend endless hours in front of the computer...

I have heard, and looked at, the SparkPeople site before but I was always a little overwhelmed. And then I received an email from my friendly neighborhood personal trainer about starting a SparkTeam and I felt the pressure to join. Because I'm a joiner people. So I went on and there goes another two hours of my life. Seriously though, it could be worse. I could be spending two hours on celeb gossip sites, which I don't do anymore because I think the whole thing is just kind of creepy. But I digress. You can track your food and fitness on SparkPeople and there's so much stuff you will spend days just looking at it all. Which is kind of the opposite of the intent (to be active and healthy). But maybe it will fire you up to get healthy! They even have diet and fitness plans. And it's FREE. So come and join me. Be my friend. I'm registered as "momathlon" (of course).

Torture

Everyone who has ever watched a war movie knows sleep deprivation can be used as a form of torture. I am beginning to believe my children are actually double agents intent on bringing me to the brink of insanity. Every night someone is either in my bed or standing by my bed looking at me creepily like the girl in Poltergeist or waking me up at 5:15 and asking if it's time to wake up. I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why I won't exercise and eat right. True, part of it is just the need for me to kick me in the ass and say, "Go out there and do it without making up some really elaborate excuse." But part of it is the complete and utter lack of anything resembling quality sleep since the birth of my youngest four years ago. I find I cannot remember words anymore. And not in that, oh it's on the tip of my tongue but my brain is just too overloaded to think of it now. More like, I have absolutely no idea what I'm trying to say but I know there should be words for it. It's one big circle of exhaustion and excuses and eating. All E's all the time! But I either live with it and keep going, as any overachieving mother would, or give in and go to sleep for the next few years.

Slipping

Wow, imagine that. I have been backsliding a little (lot). I think if I go back and read the entries from the beginning I would find a pattern of behavior. And if I could just break the code on that I would save us all a lot of time and energy. After the tri I took a break and then I got some nasty stomach virus. And then I was lazy. But I begged, BEGGED, my neighbor to please, please run with me. And today she finally relented (mostly to shut me up). She is a trooper because if I had not been running and attempted to run, at any pace, I would just throw up and fall down on the sidewalk. But she did not. And it was good for me. Because I had to slow down. And I actually enjoyed it! I enjoyed not feeling like my lungs were going to explode like a too full bellows. I enjoyed not stumbling and bumbling forward in pain. I actually can run slower and still be running. So hopefully this will help me over the mental block of 3 miles. I.just.can't.seem.to.make.myself.do.it. But maybe I can do it slower! (That's what she said.) Sorry. I haven't had my full caffeine ration. Just suffice it to say I am slowing down to get back on track. And back on track I will be!

Swiss chard...how I love thee.

I am inundated with winter/early spring vegetables from my CSA (community supported agriculture) weekly delivery. There's only so much you can do with turnips and radishes. Winter is a lean season for produce, even here in sunny AZ. But there's one vegetable that continues to amaze and delight. Yes, Swiss chard. I'm not a picky eater and I love trying new things. Yet I had never sampled Swiss chard before. Admittedly my family will not be tempted. That just leaves more for me. Apparently Swiss chard is a "vegetable valedictorian," whatever that means. I suppose it's the head of its class or something. I was going to list the benefits of Swiss chard but they were too numerous and I am lazy so I'll include a link. Below you will find two delightful recipes:

My most favorite recipe comes from AllRecipes. It's sauteed Swiss chard with parmesan cheese. So good. I would start with this one if you are unfamiliar with or hesitant to try the chard.

The second is a recipe from my CSA box:

Tangy Swiss Chard with Slivered Carrots

1/4 cup olive oil
2 large carrots (3/4 pound) halved lengthwise and thinly sliced on the diagonal
4 pounds Swiss chard, stems chopped, leaves cut into 1 inch strips
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

Heat the olive oil in a very large skillet. Add the carrots and cook over moderately high heat until crisp tender, about 3 minutes. Add the chard stems and cook for 1 minute, then stir in the chard leaves and toss until wilted, about 3 minutes. Stir in the rice vinegar, season with salt and pepper and serve.

Hopefully these recipes will make you a Swiss chard lover too. Now if I could just figure out how to love turnips.

Heart Rate Training

OK I am back from my "rest week." I had every intention of working out at least three times last week but I suffered a little on the follow through. I ran once. And it was hard. I just wanted to take a nap. And then I took my kids to a local fun run/walk and it was hard (for different reasons) and again I wanted to nap. So nap training went well. But now I'm back on my training plan (that keeps changing). I think I am signing up for another sprint towards the end of May so I have to at least make some effort to continue swimming. I'm also getting a little coaching with that. Let's cross our fingers. The May sprint is bike heavy (15 miles) so I should probably ride some too. And then I think I'm free from triathlon aspirations until possibly September. I will let you in on a little secret. Won't really be a secret after I post it for anyone to see. But I have little faith in the existence of readers for this blog so I might as well be telling it to the dog. Because he's a good listener. OK, enough. I am thinking, thinking, thinking about doing the PF Chang's Marathon in January. Does it matter that I can only run less than 3 miles? No, because I have 40 weeks and my best friend Hal Higdon. I am going to do his "spring training" plan first to prepare. It actually only lasts for 12 weeks but I'm going to stretch that out to 22. You run 4 days a week, as opposed to my current 3 (ahem 1-2) and start with smaller times. I was almost giddy at the thought of only running a mile and a half today. Imagine me being giddy at the prospect of physical exertion (never mind that the primary reason was my happiness at not having to go farther). Which brings us to the point of this post - heart rate training.

If you read any books about triathlon (and probably running, biking and swimming alone) you'll notice a huge emphasis on training in your aerobic zone. This kind of makes it necessary to use a heart rate monitor. I have a Garmin with a heart rate monitor but I remember not liking it very much the first time I used it. I had been using Polar until that point and I really liked the accuracy of the Polar. But I refuse to wear two gadgets on my wrist. So today I sucked it up and wore the Garmin. It seemed to be pretty consistent so I'll begrudgingly give it a second chance. But here's the issue. I'm pretty sure my heart rate is way faster than the recommended zones allow. I don't mean I'm working harder than I should. I mean my heart rate is just way high (and yes, that is a technical/medical diagnosis). Some of you may remember (probably not) my visit to the cardiologist, which was prompted by just this issue. You see, I started wearing a heart rate monitor during running and instantly scared the bejeezus out of myself when my heart rate was in the 180s. But I didn't feel winded or like I was pushing too much. So I never would have known had I not had the Polar. But I went to get it checked out anyway. You know, so I wouldn't just keel over one day. And the cardiologist pronounced me healthy. Yeah. So my conundrum (50 point word for the day) is how to adjust my heart rate zones for my higher heart rate. And don't tell me to slow down. Because "running" at 13 minute miles is not really feasible. I can do 12 minute miles. But my heart rate is in the 170s. If anyone has any really great advice please let me know. And by anyone, I mean me. Or possibly my mother or the couple of friends who read this.

And if you're interested in your "zones" you can use the Maffetone method where you subtract your age from 180. This supposedly gives you your max aerobic heart rate, which is laughable because mine is 142. You can also use the 220 minus your age and multiply by the percentages for your aerobic and anaerobic zones. But you'll have to look that one up because I'm too lazy to find the specifics. So much for helpful fitness blog.

Tri for the Cure

My very first triathlon has come and gone. I went in knowing I could do it. Biking the 8 miles and running 2.5 a few times eased my mind. But I was afraid of the unknown. If you have issues with insomnia before a race I highly recommend waking up really early the morning before the race and going for your first ever open water swim and one mile run up a hill the size of Mt. Everest. And then race around for the rest of the day attending a home sales party and packet pick up. By about 10-11 you will beg to go to sleep.

I set my alarm for 5:00 because I could not imagine waking up earlier. 5:00 is kind of my limit. I had packed all my essentials the night before in a very obsessive organized way. So all I had to do Sunday was dress, get coffee and water bottles. There was a tense moment when I discovered my frozen water bottle had tipped over and sealed the top on. I managed to unscrew it though and add water to top it off. Whew. The drive over was pretty uneventful. I started worrying about the time it was taking me though and wondering if all the good spots would be gone. Should not have worried. Apparently a lot of people don't like to come early. I set up my bike and transition area on an outside rack and noted the flower balloon to make sure I would remember where in the hell my bike was. I myself am way too cool to bring balloons for the rack but in the future I will make sure to always rack my bike by someone who brings one!

I waited around a long time for the swim start. Since it was in a pool they sent off swimmers every 15 seconds. Finally I was standing in line at the edge of the pool and I started wondering exactly why I had signed up for the race. My nerves were eased a bit by Sara and her wonderful cheering family. I started the swim and quickly realized I had forgotten how. Why were my arms flailing around? Why were my legs dragging the bottom? I don't know what happened but that was possibly the worst swim of my life (as well as the longest 15 minutes). I just could not get a rhythm going and then I would get to the end of the lane and have to go under the lane line. But I made it! I was passed by a lot of people. I felt like the little cork in the swim lane stopping up the flow. I tried to stay far right. I almost got kicked by a woman doing breaststroke. Aahhh the joy of triathlon.

I tried to hurry through transition. I felt like I was hurrying. But perhaps I was not. There's definitely a learning curve and I would do some things different. Like not wear socks, which are really hard to pull on wet feet. I was looking forward to the bike all morning. I just kept thinking I would go really hard on the bike no matter what. I finally made my way onto the course and started pedaling. I felt really good at first and didn't have a hard time maintaining my goal pace of 16 mph. I even rode a little faster. Passed some people. Got passed by a few. One ridiculous lady with a time trial helmet and tri bike. Really? In an 8 mile bike? She probably finished in like 15 minutes though. So it was going along. And then I turned a corner and the wind started blowing. I kept shifting to see if spinning made it easier but no, it didn't. I just kept spinning. Just keep spinning, spinning, spinning. I made it around the course twice though and back to transition. My Garmin said exactly 30 minutes for a little over 8 miles. My recorded bike time was 36 minutes though (which included both transitions) so I see where I have a little work to do.

Setting off for the run I just kept telling myself I only had 2.5 miles to go. Possibly less. Apparently one thing said 2 and one thing said 2.5. I was hoping for the 2. In describing the run course, the race director kept saying, "You'll run around that HUGE facility," which didn't really help. The first lap I didn't take any water because 1. it's hard to run and drink and 2. it makes me burpy, which makes me feel like hurling. I just kept trudging along. I swear, I don't know if my feet really even leave the ground. I know I need to work on raising my knee but that makes it harder!! But I didn't stop! I kept looking down at my Garmin and it would say I was going faster than my goal pace. I didn't want to lose my steam so I would slow down a little. Maybe I shouldn't do that. Maybe I should run until I puke? I don't know. On the second lap I did take water and I squeezed the cup like I was supposed to. Still really hard to drink. I finally saw the entrance to the track and told myself it was almost over. My kids were all there at the entrance and they high fived me as I went past. I cannot tell you how motivating that was. Plus they had music so I didn't have to just listen to my ragged breathing. I finished the first lap and looked down at my Garmin, which read 1.8 something. I assumed I had to do another lap because the instructions about the laps were a little fuzzy. I started running on the outside of the chute and luckily Sara and her husband were yelling and pointing for me to go on the inside. So I did. But I felt like I was cheating. Plus, anticlimactic. I was mentally prepared to go around again. And the one race snafu of the day - the loss of my race belt - meant they didn't call my name because I didn't have my number on. We did find my race belt hanging on a rack in transition and apparently one side had pulled out of the buckle. Stupid race belt. Anyway, as soon as I finished (and neurotically flagged down a race volunteer to make sure I had completed the assigned laps) I felt like I could take on the world. I wasn't tired or nauseous. I just felt empowered. So I ate a banana. And then I made my family take me to IHOP. I thought I would eat my whole plate plus some but I couldn't even finish 1/3 of my pancakes and omelet. But not to worry, I took it home for later!

So what have I learned? No, it's not to never do another triathlon again. I quite like the feeling. I love walking around after with my number marking. I love not feeling sore the next day and knowing it's because I trained and ate right. I love feeling like I can improve my times and do better. I think I'm going to do another pool swim sprint next month. Not quite ready for open water. I will definitely be working on my swim. I'm going to get some coaching. I'll practice transitions. I'll figure out how to use my Garmin in multisport mode. I'll double check my race belt. And I will for sure be out there again.

Wetsuits..and hilarity ensues

Last night I had the pleasure of trying on a wetsuit. If you've never experienced this particular undertaking, well, good for you. It is most unpleasant. No amount of jumping up and down or praying to a higher power will get that rubber monstrosity over your hips. You finally resort to inching it up centimeter by centimeter until you just go for it and thrust your arms into the sleeves. By now you are hunched over because the crotch is around your knees. This requires the help of at least one other person. And then they will laugh at you and say it's like dressing a penguin. And then you'll laugh because you're just so fricking happy the thing zipped up. And then you'll marvel at your physique because you are packed in like a neoprene bomb. Some repetitive rubbing of the sleekness might be in order. And then you have to take it off. Much easier than putting it on but you are deathly afraid of ripping a hole in the fabric. And amazed at the amount of sweat you've generated in 10 minutes. You decide to buy one to wear around the house, sort of like a homemade sauna. But it's a little expensive. And will you really use it? But as you stroke it longingly you calculate how many uses you could get out of it. You mention that you feel really close to the suit because you've been through so much together. And you're kind of skeeved out by the thought of buying a used wetsuit because you've seen first hand the damage one sweaty body can do in a relatively short time. So, buy or not buy. That is the question.

I'm Doing It!

Sometimes when I'm swim/bike/run-ing I literally stop in amazement. As you can imagine that is particularly difficult in the pool. But I manage to tread water while patting myself on the back. I cannot tell you how much different I feel about this endeavor than any other I have attempted before. I don't know if that sentence makes sense or not because I cannot concentrate due to the loud volume of The Princess and The Frog in the other room. Back to my point. I have done things I am proud of - the 5K, walking a half marathon, The 3 Day. But I think I always doubted my ability to accomplish them. I know I can finish the triathlon. I won't be first but I think I can come close to my goals. And I know I can finish. In the end that's the most important. Last year I backed out of a mini sprint because I had serious psychological doubts. But this time I have trained quite a bit and I feel really positive. I'm working on some competitiveness issues I have, which is actually quite helpful because I've finally figured out that it's MY RACE. I'm not trying to beat anyone but my own negative self image. And when I do I'm gonna be a sore winner and say, "In your face negative self image." That is probably really therapeutic. I suggest you try it.

Giving Up and Giving In

HA, I wasn't talking about giving up on my fitness. If that's what you were thinking. I was talking about my recent attempt to give up the diet soda for 30 days. I tried this once before, in an attempt to drink more tea, but my caffeine needs were strong and I was weak. This time I have been soda free for one week. I just decided it was time to stop drinking so much soda because there are so many reports citing the health and weight impacts of soda consumption. You would think diet soda would help you lose weight. But no. Plus, the chemicals. And now I just read it's bad for your kidneys. I should just stop reading now and come back here to finish this post! If you are interested Google "diet soda studies" and read until you are curled in a fetal position. I learned even Dean Ornish, DEAN ORNISH, is in with a major soda producer. Where will it end?

So I feel pretty good about my decision. Just need to find more choices on the beverage front. Water is good but blahhh. And I don't know if it's coincidence or what but I have suddenly started losing weight. Could be the multiple workouts and the realization that I can't eat all the calories I burned off. Or it could be the absence of diet soda. I like to think that anyway.

On the tri front, I feel totes prepared for my big tri debut. A feeling I did not have last year. I'm so glad I wimped out of that one, even though I felt crappy about it at the time. I am just in such a different place mentally and I know I can do it. I've even gone above and beyond my goals a couple of times. The swim is definitely my weakest link. I'm slow on the run but I know I can do it. The bike is just a matter of hammering while not trashing my legs. I actually feel a little excited. I'm looking at more events in the future so I don't just flow along aimlessly without a training plan. That is the perfect prescription for weight gain and exercise stoppage. Two more weeks to the start of the rest of my life!

Big Changes

OK I keep planning and scheming to set this blog straight and I finally had a day off to do it. I have been dreaming of updating and changing the look. I took pictures of myself way back in December so I could do Before/After (assuming the transformation was ASTOUNDING) but I never got around to putting them up. Well, no more. Admittedly they are not the best quality (and please ignore the messiness of my bathroom) but there they are. As I focus more and more on fitness I have less to say about other parts of my life. I haven't managed the balancing act so many people seem to have mastered. But right now my health is really important so I hope to update here more. As with my other blog, if one person reads this and thinks, "I can do that. Look at her fat butt," then I have done my job. And PS, you are a mean person. I have been very busy since the last post. I would direct you to my training log as evidence of that. But here's a little recap:

• I participated in a bicycle clinic and changed a tire!
• I enrolled in and am attending a Beginner Triathlon class at Tri2BFit. I asked if any of my peeps wanted to join but alas, I had to go it alone. And I think this proves I kick ass.
• Speaking of peeps, my friend Sara and I harassed invited several ladies to join us in our informal womens triathlon club. We now go around telling people we belong to a triathlon club. We need to get matching shirts. I joke but I am serious about continuing with this and actually starting a formal womens club someday. When I am not so busy. And in better shape.
• Our triathlon club (see above) has been meeting on Sunday morning for bike rides and breakfast. Even though we have been rained out an extraordinary amount of times considering we live in the desert.
  
• I am almost done with week 5 of the Couch to 5K program (again!) Tomorrow is the 20 minute run. I have faced you before my friend. And I will be victorious. Interestingly enough (to me) I have finally found a pace where I don't feel like dying. And I can actually tell the difference when I go faster and come back down. Right now that's a 12 minute mile but I'm not complaining. I'm aiming for negative splits!
  
• I have been swimming once a week. I would feel more comfortable with my ability if I had two days to swim but that's not happening now. I actually swam 1200 yards last night. That is almost 3/4 of a mile. I did not want to keep going. But Dory told me to just keep swimming so I did. And yes, I have a Dory in my head to motivate me. Don't you?

• I have also been back on the watching my food intake front. I am struggling a little because I am so used to Weight Watchers and I had a lot of success on it BUT I don't think it helps me make better food choices. You can eat a lot of weird crap on WW that is low in points but not good for you. I have been just recording my food intake on The Daily Plate but it doesn't have that counting down feature I love. I just had a thought as I wrote that. Why don't I just take my calorie total for the day and subtract my calories from it as I go so I can see how many I have left. The website does that for you but I think if I wrote it down it might help more. See how beneficial this is to everyone involved? Which is just me at this point.
• Finally, I have been reading and trying to follow the Beck Diet Solution. For me it's like dieting and psychological experimenting on myself all at the same time. I must say though, I have used this book before and I always, always get stuck on the 4th day (of like 42). I don't know why. But last time just the first 4 days helped something click in my brain. And this time I have found I am incorporating more of the positive messages than I ever have. Doesn't mean I don't shudder when I see myself in my bathing suit. But I'm working on it.
  

I guess that's enough for now. Please leave me a comment if you want to continue this journey with me (and Sara I know you're in so you don't have to). In the meantime, just keep swimming.

Tri 4 The Cure

10 weeks to go until the big sprint triathlon. I'm trying not to hyperventilate at that prospect. I have set my ambitious training program goals (and my really, really ambitious goals for the year). I will come back and fill those in when I have longer than 15 minutes (I have promised my child I would make her lunch. When does it end?) I also have decided not to weigh myself again until race day. Because I am very tired of having a crap week based on the scale. I'm going to take my measurements and post my weight and before/after photos. Not quite brave enough to post the measurements but I will post any changes. OK that about sets me up to begin the first 10 weeks of lifelong health!

Sweet Dilemma and A Goal

OK I am totally flummoxed (I love that word) about what to do with my coffee. I always used Splenda so I wouldn't add calories. Then I started trying to stay away from chemicals and switched to sugar. But I keep reading about the horrible effects of eating too much sugar. So I switched back to Splenda. And then I read about the high incidence of weight gain for people who use sugar substitutes. Aaaagh I don't know what to do anymore. I am leaning towards using sugar because at least it's natural. But I just have to learn to use less. I think before I was using a tablespoon total (for three cups). I'll work on that.

As for the goal, I would like to track what I eat (good or bad) on The Daily Plate for at least five days this week.

I would also like to make this big goal to jump into my training program (to be detailed later) but I would be happy to limp into the program this week following my extremely unpleasant recent illness.

Will Post Again...

when I can breathe in without coughing up a portion of lung. TMI?

In Need of a Coach

Please send me your coaches free of charge. Or just start telling me to get up and do it already. Actually, being yelled at doesn't work for me. Say it nicely. I know I need to start training for the April triathlon. But it seems so far away and I'm just so sleepy. I woke up early this morning to take the dog for a walk because I had to leave right after dropping the kids off at school. And you know what? I went back to sleep because 6:30 is unbelievably cold and dark. I'm starting to think I prefer the summer temps even though your internal organs roast. I cannot get with the cold. And it provides another convenient excuse! OK for reals. I just need a training plan. So if you can't provide a coach, could you at least give me a plan? I actually have three or four plans to follow but maybe I'm just so overwhelmed with plans I can't get started. Yeah, I like that one. I did buy a Bosu Ball. Have yet to take it out of the box. I feel a little protective of it because I see the way my children have been looking at it. Waiting for all that Vitamin D energy to kick in. Any day now.

It's the Vitamin D

So apparently I am low on that most important of vitamins, and not the "vitamins" your mother hides in the back of the medicine chest, I mean Vitamin D. I'm pretty sure I get enough sun. I live in the desert. I drink at least a cup of milk with my coffee. So not sure why I'm low on the D. The doctor prescribed a supplement for the next 12 weeks. I think I'm taking roughly one million units of vitamin D now. The rare side effects include weight loss and loss of appetite. They suggest you call your doctor. How about I call my girlfriends and we go out for dessert (in the desert) to celebrate?!

The New Year

I did not make any foolish weight resolutions this year. Though I do think it would be awesome to wake up January 1st and not have "goal weight" in the back of my mind. Just imagine how many other things I could concentrate on. As you can see by my weight, the holidays were not kind. As a result, I am almost back up to my weight of 192 from three years ago. So not cool. But I'm not going to panic and vow to eat 1,000 calories a day while exercising 7 days a week. I just can't take that pressure. I would like to start training for the triathlon. Kind of a necessity. And I would like to enter my food daily on The Daily Plate. Beyond that I am still open. And waiting on those blood test results to let me off the hook!