Torture

Everyone who has ever watched a war movie knows sleep deprivation can be used as a form of torture. I am beginning to believe my children are actually double agents intent on bringing me to the brink of insanity. Every night someone is either in my bed or standing by my bed looking at me creepily like the girl in Poltergeist or waking me up at 5:15 and asking if it's time to wake up. I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why I won't exercise and eat right. True, part of it is just the need for me to kick me in the ass and say, "Go out there and do it without making up some really elaborate excuse." But part of it is the complete and utter lack of anything resembling quality sleep since the birth of my youngest four years ago. I find I cannot remember words anymore. And not in that, oh it's on the tip of my tongue but my brain is just too overloaded to think of it now. More like, I have absolutely no idea what I'm trying to say but I know there should be words for it. It's one big circle of exhaustion and excuses and eating. All E's all the time! But I either live with it and keep going, as any overachieving mother would, or give in and go to sleep for the next few years.