It may look like I'm going slow but I'm just getting started.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Struggling

Last week started off going downhill from the beginning. I ate way too much on Monday and I just assigned all my weekly points (Weight Watchers) to cover it. So by the middle of the week I was negative in points. And Saturday we had a birthday party. With chips and cupcakes. I don't usually have a big weakness for chips but if they are just sitting there in a big bowl I will stuff my face. Then the movies with the popcorn and chocolate. And well, the whole weekend is blown anyway I might as well eat all these mini candy bars. And I weigh in this morning to find I'm 2 and a half pounds heavier than last week. Discouraging. But I keep thinking I don't really have another choice. What else will I do? Just stop exercising and eat whatever I want and weigh over 200 pounds again? I don't think so. So I'll just keep going. I just wish I could change this mindset about food. It's either feast or famine around here and one little slip sends me down a rabbit hole of carbs and sugar. I don't really know where I acquired my irrational view of food and eating. But I would love to adopt a more rational view. I guess I'm working on that in a roundabout way. I have started changing the way I feel about exercise and about waking up in the morning to do it. Today my alarm went off at 5:30 and I was out and biking by 6:00. A few years ago I would have never willingly rolled out of bed until I absolutely had to. And I can't remember the last time I had McDonald's; which is a big deal since I used to eat there at least once a week or so. I know it takes time and there will be cupcakes and off days. I just have to make sure there are more good days than bad.

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