What is Up?

Did you expect me to say, "my weight"? I'm not even going there. Last week I kept track of my calories and exercise on The Daily Plate. While I did not eat and exercise like a champ, I did expect some sort of return on my investment. And instead I was rewarded with a half pound gain. You might think this would lead me to eat lots of holiday goodies to punish myself. And you would be right. But I felt really bad about it. And yes, I do realize how unhealthy it is to 1. punish yourself for gaining weight and 2. to do it with food, which makes absolutely no sense. I am back to searching for a blog or website to tell me exactly what I should do, even though I know what I should do. And it probably does not include Sonic. I read something recently that said the decision making part of our brain is in the same section with the willpower part so every decision we make lowers our willpower threshold. And I am clinging to that reasoning. I am also going to the doctor to have my thyroid checked (again). I have had my thyroid levels checked at least three times in the past couple years because I swear there is something wrong with me. My OB/GYN seems to think it's the natural byproduct of three children. I know my life is sometimes crazy and exhausting but I wake up tired and I actually fell asleep watching a movie last week. I have been reading a lot of information about hypothyroid and it seems some doctors are more aggressive about the levels than others. I plan to bring a list of my symptoms (hello, my blood pressure is a tad above zombie level and my temperature is consistently under 98) and I will insist that something is wrong and I want it to be fixed. Now. How awesome would it be to finally feel "normal" after three years of feeling like a different person. Maybe I'm not just lazy and hungry, maybe it's a "condition."