Back to Reality

Last week was pretty much a wash. I just could not get out of bed. The combination of post-vacation exhaustion and the knowledge school would be starting this week led to a very sedentary lifestyle. And I managed to gain about five pounds. Why is it so hard to lose but so quick to return? Thanks a lot fast food and eating out. OK and my poor choices. But what else can I do but return to the daily grind of Weight Watchers and recording my workouts. I did have a little scare last week when I realized our next 5K was rapidly approaching and I have not moved my feet in a jogging motion for oh, a few weeks. But like a wish, the 5K was mysteriously canceled (and that's not just what I told my husband. It was actually canceled). But I know I need to get back out there and run like the wind. It has just been so hot. Waaaawaaaawaaaa (that's supposed to be a baby cry). And I cannot explain how much I detest the treadmill. I used to prefer running or walking on it but now it feels like a death sentence. So I will have to brave the heat and "Just Do It." Thanks Nike.

And I'm Back!

OK I will admit my training log looks a bit sparse. Spending 4 whole days driving can do that to a person. I did manage a couple of workouts during vacation but the tremendous amount of food I consumed kind of canceled that out. And now it is soooo hard to get back on track. I am finding it very difficult to wake up in the morning. I would really love to find a balance between sleep and exercise. I need to exercise in the morning but I don't really enjoy waking up so early. I think I was in a serious sleep deficit before vacation. Seven hours is just not enough and I don't think I can go to bed at 9:00. Hopefully I'll find something that works. If it would just cool off a little that would be swell. I managed a swim yesterday even though I was dreading it. It actually wasn't too bad once we were in the water. I need to find a reliable way to count my laps. My swim partner suggested an abacus. I know I just have to keep going forward and concentrate on training for my multiple events. But sometimes I just want to sleep in.

Blog Holiday

I have not given up on my health. I be up in the gym just workin' on my fitness. Sorry about the random Fergie quote. Anyway, I'll be back next Monday. And I will be swim/bike/running/walking in the meantime. I promise.

5 Miles

So I am up to 5 miles for my Breast Cancer 3 Day training. I am trying to incorporate my tri training with my 3 Day training. I am supposed to run 2 times a week now (welcome relief) and today's time was 24 minutes. Now obviously I cannot run 5 miles in 24 minutes (and if you can, why are you reading my blog?). So I ran 2 miles in 24 minutes and walked the rest. I only had to stop once during my run for a minute and a half so I count that as progress. I have little doubt though that if I plan to run longer distances I will be doing the walk/run combo. I just don't have the stamina for constant jogging. The walking part was not bad at all because I didn't push myself. I just walked. I also walked/jogged to Starbucks and had an iced latte in the middle so that can't hurt. It was HAWT out today so I borrowed a little trick from one of my favorite fitness blogs and dumped the ice from my drink into my sports bra. Yes, I had coffee ice in my bra. I washed it off first though. It was very refreshing. But I thought I was giving myself a heart attack at first because my chest area started hurting during the initial cooling. I'll have to work on distributing the ice. I also wet my hat with cool water and that seemed to help as well. I was practically skipping on the way home. What with the icy chest, cool head, slow pace and IPod. As I was running (and trying not to faint) I thought to myself, "Why do I undue all of the hard work I'm doing right now just for a temporary fix?". Why can I not remember that at the time of the incident? It's much harder to binge when you've gone 5 miles. Or maybe it's easier sometimes because you feel like you deserve it. But that is hardly ever my reasoning. I am really going to work on that. Start telling myself no, start telling myself no, start telling myself no.

Anatomy of a Binge

I just wrote a post on my main blog about being depressed. One thing that feeds into my depression (no pun intended but it is kind of funny) is my propensity for binge eating. I don't eat whole cakes or throw up. But I do have episodes where I start eating and I continue to graze until I start feeling sick. Feeling guilty doesn't usually lead me to stop. I usually eat more the guiltier I feel. I tried to keep track today of what I was eating so I could put it in Weight Watchers to see the extent of the damage. I probably missed some things but here's a list (and this was after lunch):

• chocolate covered edamame (at least 1/4 cup)
• 2 Snickers mini ice cream bars
• Frosted Flakes (probably a cup)
• Fruity Pebbles with milk (at least a cup and a half)
• fruit leather
• dark chocolate (about an ounce)
• cheese stick
• almonds, macadamia nuts and craisins (maybe a 1/3 cup)

So that's the ugly truth. I have had a lot of truth today. Maybe it will lead to some changes on my part. I don't know why I continue to eat when I'm not hungry. I'm eating to fill something (hint, not my stomach). I feel so bad during and after. Like all of my hard work is for nothing. How much more weight could I lose if I didn't blow it so often. I don't deny myself food but I am pretty involved in what I eat. Weight Watchers is good for learning portion control but bad if you're obsessive about weighing and measuring. I just have to keep telling myself it's a journey and I will reach my goal some day. I also weigh less than I have in almost 20 years. And I'm pretty sure I'm in the best shape I've ever been. I just need to realize I don't need to eat ALL THE FOOD RIGHT NOW. There will always be more later. More chances to make better choices.