Defying Gravity

Lately I've been really hard on myself about being last in my age group for the Marquee Duathlon. And sure, unknowingly I was competing in the robot 34-39 division (possibly those ladies were androids, so hard to tell), and sure all of the other age categories from 20 to 80 had slower people. But I ran a mile in 10:38. I've never run a mile in 10:38. Why can't I just be happy with knowing I've only really been running steadily for less than a year and I can now, miracle of miracles, talk while running? Why can't I be happy knowing I would have never done anything like this in my teens or twenties or even early thirties?

People have commented on Facebook that I cannot possibly be the same person they knew 20 years ago. After all, I got a D in phys ed. Granted it was mostly due to the fact that we were in the swimming portion of the semester and I refused to swim because I felt they did not give us enough time to get ready after. Backcombing your bangs takes A LOT of time (if you weren't aware). And I'm not the same person. I'm not the person who walked the mile for the Presidents Physical Fitness Test (though I would so totally still get a 0 on the bent arm hang), I'm not the person who started and gave up running a thousand times before, I'm not the person who was convinced they would never run because it was just too hard, I'm not the person who struggled with weight gain and postpartum depression and just kept eating and being inactive, I'm not the person who joined more than a few gyms and had a personal trainer but never lost a considerable amount of weight or gained an appreciable amount of muscle, I'm not the person who slacks off in the back of fitness classes and I will no longer be the person who accepts the limits of my overly cautious reptile brain. OK I'm not going to starve myself to death and run 100 miles. But I will start expecting just a little more.

I've been considering the idea of the next big thing for a while now. I'm not quite ready for the Iron distances (half or full, hell who am I kidding, Olympic even) but I have faith in my ability to complete a marathon. PF Chang's Rock 'n' Roll Arizona Marathon to be exact. And I just signed up for it. January is 9 short months away. It's like I'm growing and birthing a marathon baby!! I just hope it remembers me on Mother's Day.

I have a feeling I will be replaying this song over and over (if not on my iPod then in my head because if "Firework" is any proof, singing to myself really confuses the old cerebral naysayer). And I will possibly have to actually see the musical Wicked but that's another story. For the first time, and I mean literally the first time, I feel like a runner.