Back to Reality

Last week was pretty much a wash. I just could not get out of bed. The combination of post-vacation exhaustion and the knowledge school would be starting this week led to a very sedentary lifestyle. And I managed to gain about five pounds. Why is it so hard to lose but so quick to return? Thanks a lot fast food and eating out. OK and my poor choices. But what else can I do but return to the daily grind of Weight Watchers and recording my workouts. I did have a little scare last week when I realized our next 5K was rapidly approaching and I have not moved my feet in a jogging motion for oh, a few weeks. But like a wish, the 5K was mysteriously canceled (and that's not just what I told my husband. It was actually canceled). But I know I need to get back out there and run like the wind. It has just been so hot. Waaaawaaaawaaaa (that's supposed to be a baby cry). And I cannot explain how much I detest the treadmill. I used to prefer running or walking on it but now it feels like a death sentence. So I will have to brave the heat and "Just Do It." Thanks Nike.

And I'm Back!

OK I will admit my training log looks a bit sparse. Spending 4 whole days driving can do that to a person. I did manage a couple of workouts during vacation but the tremendous amount of food I consumed kind of canceled that out. And now it is soooo hard to get back on track. I am finding it very difficult to wake up in the morning. I would really love to find a balance between sleep and exercise. I need to exercise in the morning but I don't really enjoy waking up so early. I think I was in a serious sleep deficit before vacation. Seven hours is just not enough and I don't think I can go to bed at 9:00. Hopefully I'll find something that works. If it would just cool off a little that would be swell. I managed a swim yesterday even though I was dreading it. It actually wasn't too bad once we were in the water. I need to find a reliable way to count my laps. My swim partner suggested an abacus. I know I just have to keep going forward and concentrate on training for my multiple events. But sometimes I just want to sleep in.

Blog Holiday

I have not given up on my health. I be up in the gym just workin' on my fitness. Sorry about the random Fergie quote. Anyway, I'll be back next Monday. And I will be swim/bike/running/walking in the meantime. I promise.

5 Miles

So I am up to 5 miles for my Breast Cancer 3 Day training. I am trying to incorporate my tri training with my 3 Day training. I am supposed to run 2 times a week now (welcome relief) and today's time was 24 minutes. Now obviously I cannot run 5 miles in 24 minutes (and if you can, why are you reading my blog?). So I ran 2 miles in 24 minutes and walked the rest. I only had to stop once during my run for a minute and a half so I count that as progress. I have little doubt though that if I plan to run longer distances I will be doing the walk/run combo. I just don't have the stamina for constant jogging. The walking part was not bad at all because I didn't push myself. I just walked. I also walked/jogged to Starbucks and had an iced latte in the middle so that can't hurt. It was HAWT out today so I borrowed a little trick from one of my favorite fitness blogs and dumped the ice from my drink into my sports bra. Yes, I had coffee ice in my bra. I washed it off first though. It was very refreshing. But I thought I was giving myself a heart attack at first because my chest area started hurting during the initial cooling. I'll have to work on distributing the ice. I also wet my hat with cool water and that seemed to help as well. I was practically skipping on the way home. What with the icy chest, cool head, slow pace and IPod. As I was running (and trying not to faint) I thought to myself, "Why do I undue all of the hard work I'm doing right now just for a temporary fix?". Why can I not remember that at the time of the incident? It's much harder to binge when you've gone 5 miles. Or maybe it's easier sometimes because you feel like you deserve it. But that is hardly ever my reasoning. I am really going to work on that. Start telling myself no, start telling myself no, start telling myself no.

Anatomy of a Binge

I just wrote a post on my main blog about being depressed. One thing that feeds into my depression (no pun intended but it is kind of funny) is my propensity for binge eating. I don't eat whole cakes or throw up. But I do have episodes where I start eating and I continue to graze until I start feeling sick. Feeling guilty doesn't usually lead me to stop. I usually eat more the guiltier I feel. I tried to keep track today of what I was eating so I could put it in Weight Watchers to see the extent of the damage. I probably missed some things but here's a list (and this was after lunch):

• chocolate covered edamame (at least 1/4 cup)
• 2 Snickers mini ice cream bars
• Frosted Flakes (probably a cup)
• Fruity Pebbles with milk (at least a cup and a half)
• fruit leather
• dark chocolate (about an ounce)
• cheese stick
• almonds, macadamia nuts and craisins (maybe a 1/3 cup)

So that's the ugly truth. I have had a lot of truth today. Maybe it will lead to some changes on my part. I don't know why I continue to eat when I'm not hungry. I'm eating to fill something (hint, not my stomach). I feel so bad during and after. Like all of my hard work is for nothing. How much more weight could I lose if I didn't blow it so often. I don't deny myself food but I am pretty involved in what I eat. Weight Watchers is good for learning portion control but bad if you're obsessive about weighing and measuring. I just have to keep telling myself it's a journey and I will reach my goal some day. I also weigh less than I have in almost 20 years. And I'm pretty sure I'm in the best shape I've ever been. I just need to realize I don't need to eat ALL THE FOOD RIGHT NOW. There will always be more later. More chances to make better choices.

Northland Hospice 5K

Saturday I participated in my first official 5K event. The 5K I have been training for during the appropriately named, "Couch to 5K." Leading up to the event I was having a little issue with running. Mostly I just hated it. And it is starting to get really hot here. So unless I want to wake up at 3:00 in the morning, I just sort of suffer through. But I was determined to finish this race. I will admit I briefly considered ditching it when I found out Aaron wasn't running with me but I went ahead and made hotel reservations so I couldn't back out. I'm glad I did.

I went into the race with a personal goal time of 38 minutes. I know this sounds slow to all of you fast little rabbits out there. But I am a turtle. A big, slow turtle. Or tortoise if you're really picky. I had previously run 3.1 in 38 minutes a couple of times so I knew it was possible. But here's a little fun fact. Flagstaff sits at 7,000 feet above sea level. My little town sits at about 1,200 feet. My husband says we're a little higher because we sit on the ascent of a (small) mountain but I don't know. Let's just round up and say that is a 5,500 foot difference. This is a huge difference. I optimistically told myself my training in the heat would offset this a little because it would be nice and cool in Flag. And it was in the high 60s or low 70s when the race started. I was definitely just right in my shorts and sleeveless running shirt. I started out towards the back, unfortunately behind quite a few walkers. I intended to start out slow and do my 4/1 jog and walk breaks. I started out at my usual pace of around 11 to 11.5 minute miles. About three minutes in I realized I could not breathe. What is up with the air? Oh, you mean it's thinner at 7,000 feet? Of course I knew this but I don't think I KNEW it. I thought I was going to vomit. And then HILLS. Because thin air isn't enough. They want to kill you with hills. So about a mile in I abandoned all training plans and almost abandoned the race. I thought, "Who could care if I just walked off the course?" I would care. So I started walking. I walked until I could catch my breath. And sure a man with his two kids, a man in his seventies and a woman pushing a wheelchair passed me. But I didn't throw up and I didn't quit. Eventually I caught my breath and had a little water. Now normally I don't drink water from a hose. I just kept telling myself it was probably mountainy fresh water. I then started jogging. And I ended up jogging for an extended period of time. But this time I went about 12 miles per hour. And I felt pretty good. I just kept going. Eventually I started slowing down and I knew it was time for a walk break. And I did this through the whole race. I finally turned the corner where I could see the finish line and I decided to just run all out. All out being about 6 miles per hour. Even though I felt a little like throwing up. I just turned up my music and sprinted to the finish. And then I heard them announce my name and I saw my kids waving and I knew I had really done it. I had finished my first 5K. And I had run a good portion. My official end time was 37.56. I swear I was about 30 seconds faster but my Garmin only read 3.04 miles so I guess the extra time makes up for the missed distance. But I made my goal of 38 minutes in a race where I didn't initially think I would finish. It makes me optimistic about the other things I'm capable of.

Flatout and Running Out (of steam)

Lately I have been really obsessed with Flatout Multi-Grain wraps. I know a lot of people (doctors and such) suggest eating the same thing for breakfast or lunch every day. They say variety leads to overeating due to the multitude of different flavors. I don't know if this is true but eating the same thing certainly helps out time wise. I am not normally the sort of person who can eat the same thing daily. Variety is the spice of my life (which is perhaps the reason I overeat. Damn those doctors). But since I discovered the plain wraps at Costco I have been having a PBJ wrap every morning. Sometimes I even use almond butter. Wow. And I just learned Trader Joes has almond butter with salt! Now my life is complete. If you need a little protein to start the day and you do not do well with simply oatmeal or cereal (you feel like eating a side of beef - or a dozen donuts - one hour after breakfast) you should try the Flatouts. And they are not even paying me to say this. But I would accept free samples!

And now the exercise. I have developed a mental block against running. I know I should do it, I know I'm capable of it, I know it won't kill me. But IT HURTS. Maybe I should take it slower. But is it really "jogging" at 13 minute miles? I can almost walk that fast. I am capable of between 11 and 12 minute miles at this point but I always have to stop for walking breaks. I never feel like I could just go on and on. Who are those people anyway? My sprint triathlon training cuts back the minutes I have to run (from the Couch to 5K thirty minutes) so maybe I can start slowly again and build myself up. I just can't imagine the day I will love it. But maybe that day will come. Possibly in November when it is not as hot as the surface of the sun.